Take care of your diabetes, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.

Well, January has already [almost] come to an end. I can’t believe how quickly this past month went by. Anyway, remember the term “when it rains, it pours”?.. that’s been proven true this past month. HOWEVER, I’m starting to see the sunshine and that pretty light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve been waiting for! As I’ve had a lot on my plate this month, it’s given me a lot of time to think.. about everything. The truth is, I haven’t written a lot lately because amongst life happening, I just haven’t been feeling positive about where I’m at with my diabetes, or my health in general. Then it occurred to me.. I promised to blog with integrity. I promised to write about the good, the bad, AND the honest truth.. right? So why was I feeling like I “had” to write the HAPPIEST post ever to share with you guys, or that if I didn’t.. I shouldn’t write at all? This.. this was wrong of me, and for that, I sincerely apologize to you guys. So now, don’t get me wrong.. this will not be a sad, or depressing post, but rather honest talk.

As I previously blogged about, my a1c before I got omnipod and dexcom together was a whopping 12.2 (I KNOW, don’t be like me!!!!!-please). From there, it quickly came down to a 9, and in less than 4 months, it was down to a 6.6 (my best a1c EVER, excluding the 5.8 I had ONE time when I was always sick and couldn’t eat due to gastroparesis- before I got the pacemaker put in my stomach). To get to a 6.6 A1C was amazing for me, knowing it was MY hard work, my efforts, me watching dexcom on my phone like a crazy person trying to “beat” my blood sugars and make every day better than the previous day. I know a 6.6 isn’t perfect. For me though, that was the first time I ever felt proud of myself in my whole journey with diabetes. So proud that my father got that a1c framed for me, and now sits on my desk at work. If I could pick my a1c, I’d probably chose to sit at a 5.8.. but unfortunately, we won’t ever get to pick that pesky little number (that means oh so much to us).

Well, that 6.6 was back in August. I went back later in December, knowing my a1c was going to be higher (based on dexcom). Gastroparesis and diabetes together can be a REAL piece of work. One can make the other worse, and vise versa.. and when they decide not to cooperate with each other, that leads to a tired, high blood sugared, grumpy Chelsea. That’s okay though! Because I have way more good days than I do bad, and even on my worst days, I’m HAPPY. For some reason, when my doctor came back in with the results, my eyes watered up before he could even tell me that number…. “So how bad is it?”, I asked. “7.1… it’s not bad at all, you’re still doing great!”. My heart sank, I didn’t feel like I was doing great. I had worked so hard for it to come down, only for it to go BACK up .5 points!? No! This crushed me. But why!?! An a1c of 7.1 might not be the best it could be, but it’s DEFINITELY not a number to be ashamed of. My parents would have been thrilled to see me with an a1c of 7 when I was back in high school. So why was I so upset?

Diabetes can be so overwhelming, so frustrating, but it’s not going anywhere. Our a1cs are going to vary, and we have to accept that and not be angry at ourselves. It’s great to work hard for a good results, but you can’t beat yourself if you tried your hardest. Just keep trying, and keep fighting! I let myself be upset about this for too long, instead of moving on and trying harder. If you’re doing your best, you’re already doing great. I wasted too much time and energy being upset over something that I CAN change. Maybe not that last number, but I can change the next one. It’s important to have goals with your diabetes, but it’s also important not to drive yourself crazy with those goals. Don’t drive yourself to diabetes burnout – make small changes at a time and be proud of yourself for what you accomplish. You’ve got to take care of yourself, your happiness, and your emotions AS WELL AS your diabetes; but you can’t forget about you! That’s where I went wrong, I focused so much on my diabetes that it was all I was focusing on anymore. Take care of ALL of you, and you’ll be much happier, I promise.

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make your HAPPINESS a priority. It is necessary.”

This is also when I realized how important having a GOOD endocrinologist is. It’s not a want, it’s a necessity. I went years with doctors telling me I wouldn’t make it to my 21st birthday (I’m almost 25 now, so HA to them!) , telling my parents I was slowly committing “voluntary suicide” … what these doctors didn’t know what that I was struggling with diabulimia. How could they know if I didn’t tell them, right? I was a teenager, though, and in my early 20s.. I was scared. I just needed a doctor to show me a little compassion, and that they cared – for ME as their patient. I’ve now referred 2 people to the doctor I’m seeing now- and they both love him as much as I do. He’s kind, and caring, and he WANTS to help. He understands we experience burnout, and he reminds me to NOT always focus on my number if I want to keep my sanity. If you’re in the DFW area and are looking for a great doctor, contact me and I’d love to give you his info. The dietitians there are so great and supportive as well. It’s just a great office & staff and I actually look forward to my appointments now- instead of dreading them with extreme anxiety.

As I wrap up this post, I just wanted to share something for any of you who may be in the market for a new meter. I’m going to be dedicating a post to this company and meter soon (because I want to, and really think what this company is doing is awesome. It’s not sponsored and will be 100% my honest thoughts and opinions). This company is about making strips affordable for all, and for every 12 kits sold, they donate to a diabetic in need. Did I mention the founder is also a Type 1? They’re called good glucos, click here to go to their website and read more. If you DO decide to order, use my Instagram name, “chelsthebetic” for $10 off your purchase! Just apply it in the coupon section at checkout. You can’t beat the price. You can choose the amount of strips you want- but if you choose 100, I know that with the code above, you get a meter, strips, lancet, all for $25.. yes, you’re reading that right! Like I said a full post is coming soon- but I couldn’t wait to share. Mine just came in yesterday and the accuracy is right on point with my dexcom and my omnipod PDM! This company recently launched if you’re wondering why you may not have heard of them yet- I highly recommend checking them out!

I hope you guys have all had a great week so far, halfway to the weekend!

Stay hopeful my fellow diabuddies,

Chelsea- The Hopeful Diabetic ❤

Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017!

Happy New year everybody! I still can’t believe 2016 has come to an end already. So many positive changes happened in my life in 2o16 (this blog included!). Last New Years Eve is when I had my surgery, and got the pacemaker put in my stomach (talk about new year, new me.. right?). Every year I always reflect on the past year and write it down, but this will be my first time doing it publicly.

In 2016, I:

Made some amazing friends, lost some too. Woke up with a pacemaker in my stomach, terrified.. but now I’m finally able to eat salad, some vegetables, and other food I wasn’t able to for over a year and a half without going to the hospital. I got Dexcom CGM and starting watching my sugars more closely, and got my a1C down from a 12.2, to a 6.6 in a matter of months. I adopted the sweetest puppy. I grew closer, better relationships with both of my parents (my rocks in life), as well as my grandmother (my last grandparent left, and boy, she sure is special.) I grew stronger both mentally as a person, as well as physically. I laughed until I cried, and cried until I laughed. I chopped over 12 inches off my hair, I started being comfortable in my own skin. I started trusting whatever life has planned for me.. and was able to let go of a lot of suffering I was holding on to. I made mistakes, I learned from them. Made more (I’m human), learned from those too. Made better eating habits. I started owning my diabetes, and stopped living in fear, and started living with hope. I started a blog (one of my favorite memories of the year) and started getting more involved in the DOC (diabetic online community).. also another thing I’m so thankful I did this year!

While I’m on the topic of the diabetic online community.. have you guys heard of Beyond Type 1? They’re my favorite organization. I’ve mentioned them before, and wrote about their “snail mail” pen pal option on their website. I’m not sure how long its been out, but now they have an app, and it’s basically its own social media for diabetics, parents of diabetics, caregivers, etc. I just downloaded it the other day and really like it so far, there’s topics to follow, you can post questions, connect with people in your area, etc. If you want to check it out, click: here! Of course they also have Instagram, facebook, twitter, and now snapchat (they have a different diabetic host everyday, and I think that’s really cool!) so go check them out on there, too- I really like seeing what these guys are doing!

Speaking of my favorite “diabetic related” things.. I think I’ll be doing a post like that soon, sharing my favorite snacks for lows, snacks for when I’m high, and snacks for when I’m sick, amongst other things. Stay tuned!

I can’t wait to see what 2017 has in store for the diabetic community, every year just gets better and better with all the technology… just waiting patiently for the cure! This will be my first year with a consistent and good a1c, and I’m so excited to see what else this year brings. I have a feeling it’ll be a good one! Do you have any goals you plan on working toward this year? What do you want to accomplish by the end of the year? I’d definitely like to continue lowering my a1c and getting my health as “perfect” as it can be. Thank you guys for making the end of 2016 so special for me, connecting and talking with some of you has been so awesome, and I can’t wait to keep it up!

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Norman Vincent Peale

I hope you guys all had a wonderful holiday season and are having a happy new year so far! I’m not sure of an exact date yet (waiting on my Dad,– No pressure dad!) , but I’ll be posting something written through my fathers eyes in the near future- I can’t wait to read it myself, and post!

Have a great Monday everybody, & stay hopeful!

Chelsea– The Hopeful Diabetic ❤

I may have diabetes, but diabetes doesn’t have me.

Happy Tuesday everybody! So, I’ve been mentally preparing for this post for a while, and it will without a doubt be my most vulnerable post to date. Nevertheless, I’m excited to share this one. I’m not quite sure how to “ease in” to this one, so I think I’m just going to start with the pictures of tonight’s topic… Having an invisible disease/illness!

When I was 15, I wouldn’t even consider an insulin pump. I didn’t like the idea of constantly wearing something on my body, but I also didn’t like taking 4+ injections a day (so I didn’t).. and so if you’ve already been following, you know why I have these scars on my stomach. But for first time readers, or incase you have forgotten.. let me refresh your memory really quick (to read more about it, check out “My Story” at the bottom of this page)! I didn’t take my injections like I should have.. I took them off and on, when I wanted for nearly 6 years and struggled with diabulimia, and DKA twice (once was almost fatal) before getting the Omnipod insulin pump. I put my body through a lot. I had developed gastroparesis and was in the hospital so much, I had to take the next step and get an interra pacemaker put in my stomach (those are the scars you see, and that bulge on the side under the horizontal line is where the Interra pacemaker is)!

A few months after surgery, I added my Dexcom continuous glucose monitor to the bunch. Leaving me with one internal, and two external devices on and in my body. This was probably my biggest fear at 15 when I was newly diagnosed.. but you know what? Today, I’m proud of my scars, both from the surgery and all the ones the insulin pump site changes leave. Scars of any kind, no matter how big or small, always tell a story. Be proud of your scars! Embrace those scars, it’s what I’m learning to do.

Diabetes is an invisible disease. Many who don’t have it, don’t know what we deal with behind closed doors, or how hard we fight with this disease every single day.

I know what it’s like to live in fear of what others think will think. I know what it’s like to be asked if my insulin pump is a tracking device, or a nicotine patch (I mean.. really? No, just no) . I know the struggle of feeling embarrassed by diabetes because of how society as a whole jokes about it. I know the ignorant comments people make about it, and I used to hide behind my diabetes for all of these reasons and many more. It got the best of me for years, and I’m just being honest with you.

As you can see.. I’ve finally overcome that fear. I’m owning my type 1 diabetes, as well as my scars and “battle wounds” along the way. I’m proud of them. I wouldn’t be who I am without them, or my type 1. I’m writing this post because whether you take shots, or have an insulin pump, or CGM, and no matter WHERE you are wearing it.. YOU are a fighter. A warrior. You are strong, you are brave, and you are perfect exactly the way you are. The disease may be invisible, but you my fellow diabuddies, are far from it. So don’t hide from it! Embrace your diabetes. Love yourself, love your scars, show your pumps, show CGMs, spread awareness.. don’t let the cruel jokes get you down. There’s a whole bunch of us out here who know JUST what you’re going through.

As for my scars, they’re my favorite story to tell. Why? Because they got me just where I need to be. Where I’m supposed to be. They might not be the most beautiful picture to all eyes out there, but I wouldn’t change a thing about them. I love my life, and everything about it. The highs and lows might feel awful sometimes, but thankfully tomorrow is always a new day, and we have great technology to help us.. until we are cured! My scars and “tough times” have made me a more caring person, they’ve given me a bigger heart, they’ve made me more appreciative of the little things in life, and they’ve certainly inspired me to share my story in hopes it helps even just one of you struggling out there with the same things I struggled with. I challenge you to show your pump, or scars, or CGM, pricked too many times fingers, or insulin injection scars.. whatever it may be. Own it. Love it, love yourself, and love your diabetes because as we all know it needs the extra attention! 😉

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles R. Swindoll

Stay hopeful, friends. ❤ The Hopeful Diabetic

No diabetes is perfect

Happy Monday! Well, hopefully yours was happy.. I know a lot of people who really dislike Mondays.. myself (usually) included. But I got to see my Mom for lunch, and it’s always nice getting one on one time with her. I love my family and am so thankful for the relationships I have with all of them. So even though I’m currently feeling a little sick, it’s still a happy Monday.

Remember my last post about taking the highs with the lows? Well, yesterday my blood sugar got to experience some pretty intense ones.. and man, I am still feeling it today. Why does high blood sugar have to take SO MUCH out of us? I fought with my pump all day yesterday, taking more insulin nearly every hour. I was stressed and had other issues going on, which I have to remember plays a part in high blood sugars; But it’s still beyond stressful when you just can’t seem to get it down. I got really upset by the time 6:00 PM came around and my finger stick said 497. Dexcom doesn’t even read above 400… so the finger stick was necessary. At that moment, truth be told I broke down and cried for a little bit. I was embarrassed and apologizing, and then quickly reminded that sometimes crying for a little bit is okay, and not only okay but necessary. The more you try to hide your emotions, the more you build them up and you are likely to burst all at once (like I did). I encourage you to talk to the ones you love with your feelings about diabetes every so often, vent to them, let it out.. and I bet you’ll be reminded how strong you are.

By the way, I took a screen shot of my 24 hour graph this morning around 7:00 AM.. here’s what yesterday looked like:

The only reason I mentioned my older post about the highs and lows, is because despite my highs and lows (literally) yesterday and through this morning.. Look what today brought:

Now this still isn’t perfect (is diabetes ever perfect?).. but it doesn’t look like as much of a roller coaster, and I’ve had a MUCH better twelve hours than yesterday. Also, I keep my “high alert” at 120.. so it’s not that crazy outside of the lines like the previous picture. This is what diabetes is… we have to take the good days with the bad days, and always remember tomorrow is a new day. Despite what your blood sugar may be doing, don’t let it get the best of you. It’s VERY important to take your insulin and check your blood sugars, don’t ever take a break from that (unfortunately, we just can’t). But it’s important to cut yourself some slack sometimes, and not be so hard on yourself. I hadn’t eaten anything up until after noon yesterday.. and yet my sugar just kept rising. I literally did nothing to cause it, but I was so frustrated. I’m looking back realizing how poorly I handled that, and I could have been in a much better mood all day (despite not feeling very well) if I would have just breathed a little, and remembered everyday with diabetes is a challenge, and we just have to keep fighting, with all our might. A cure is coming.. I can’t promise you when, but it’s coming. My doctor told me “let the technology take care of you, until we can cure you” and that really hit home. This technology is amazing, and so many great things for diabetics are in the works. So, keep your chin up, and your heart strong. Keep smiling, keep fighting.. and stay hopeful. Always stay hopeful.

“Every heart that has beat strongly and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind.”- Robert Louis Stevenson

-Chelsea, The hopeful Diabetic ❤

Taking the highs with the lows, and lows with the highs.

Now, this is a diabetic blog, so you probably assumed I meant the literal (blood sugar) highs and lows of a type 1, right? Wrong (well, this time..)! I’m not going to get personal with details, but I had a roller-coaster of a week, both emotionally and physically. This is not for sympathy, or a “poor me” post, in fact, it’s just the opposite.

I’ll be the first one to admit, I haven’t always had a grip on my emotions or how to deal with them. One day I can be so happy, and the next, lethargic and “gloomy”. Obviously blood sugars and other things come into affect here too, because our blood sugar REALLY CAN affect our moods. We just can’t let it get the best of us. I used to swim in my sorrow on those sad/bad days, but I never tried to make myself feel better (after all, it’s only YOU who can ultimately choose to be happy, right?). And that brings me to my favorite Andy Warhol quote:

“You have to be willing to get happy about nothing.”

All I’m trying to really say in this post is.. you have to take the highs with the lows. You have to know there will be great days, and not so great days. Just like there will be amazing days, and flat out horrible days (this applies to diabetes too). Don’t let those bad days get you down and keep you down.. (I’m talking from experience, because I let that happen to me for years). Everyday isn’t going to feel like a vacation to your favorite place, or visiting family, or doing whatever your favorite thing to do is..BUT, that does not make it a bad day. It’s just not the happiest one you’ve ever had. Find little things that you love, and find the things that make you happy, and surround yourself in them. When you feel sad, get up and take a walk with your dog, write a poem, read a book, cook something you’ve never made.. Don’t let one day get you down. Just do something to distract your mind from the negativity- and remember this feeling is temporary. Which brings me to another quote my Dad told me my entire childhood:

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

I first heard that quote from my dad when my grandfather passed away when I was only 11, and couldn’t cope with his loss. And it stuck with me like glue. I’ve also heard him say: “pain is inevitable, growth is optional” and I love both, though I think the first is the “correct” or “known” quote. I don’t feel I even really need to say more on those… The quote itself speaks volumes.

Find your balance! Find little things that make you happy to help pull you out of your funk… (for me.. It’s writing. Before I started this blog I’d been writing poetry for years and years in a private journal). Not every day will feel like a movie, but it doesn’t have to feel like the worst day just because work was stressful, and you got a stain on your shirt, does it? If you have food in your stomach, and a place to sleep, (and of course insulin in your system!) you’ve got it a lot better than a lot of people already, and I’d say you have a lot to be grateful for (even though I know, some days are truly just rotten).

This post may be irrelevant to many, but I’m hoping some can relate..because I’m just learning this at 24– to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good. It makes those good times extra special, and is a reminder in bad times that “this too shall pass”. NOTHING in life is permanent (hopefully not even our broken pancreases, my fellow diabuddies). Change is the only constant in life. Just remember that on those hard days, and most importantly.. stay hopeful ❤

“Perhaps, without the lows, the highs could not be reached.”

-The Hopeful Diabetic

P.S- Have any of you guys heard of or been to the “Diabetes UnConference” in Vegas? There’s one in February, and one in October of 2017. I read about it last year and was unable to go.. but this year, I’ll officially be there and I’m so excited! If you want to read about it, click here. If you’ve ever been, I’d love to hear feedback and what you thought!

My best friend, Dex!

Who is Dex, you ask? Well.. Dex is my continuous glucose monitor (CGM). Also known as…Dexcom! (I know, I know.. my nickname for it is so original, right!? Man.. have you guys picked up on all my sarcasm yet?)

Anyway, my past two posts I’ve mentioned Dexcom being a serious game changer for me and my life with type 1.. But I barely talked about it! So I had some responses asking why it was such a blessing for me, and if I could elaborate further. Well, OF COURSE I can, and I’m actually really excited about this! But first, I have to add that I am by no way getting paid for this. These are my own opinions and I want to answer your questions, from my personal experience. These are my honest words, thoughts, opinions, with my dexcom journey. (See my disclaimer in my menu section)

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end”- Robin Sharma

I struggled with the thought of getting another device to have to wear along with my insulin pump for a while, but I finally stopped being so vain about the idea, and realized it could benefit me.. so why not give it a “test run”? My endocrinologists office actually had one that I was able to wear and use for a week to see if I liked it. Well, after about 4 hours of wearing it…. I was sold. Seriously! Now I’ll tell you why…

I was not only able to see my blood sugar from my phone (updated every 5 minutes) but I was ALSO able to see if it was going up, down, or stable (there’s an up arrow, a DOUBLE up arrow, a slanted up arrow, a sideways arrow, a slanted down arrow, down arrow, and DOUBLE down arrow). You know how sometimes you do a finger stick, and say it’s…. 104. A great reading, right? But.. with dexcom, I can look at my phone, see that it’s not only 104, but it has DOUBLE ARROWS DOWN! What does this mean? I’m likely able to stop a bad low blood sugar before it gets.. well, a lot worse. Sometimes, I don’t even feel that I’m low, and all of a sudden my phone is alarming URGENT LOW (which is below 55) and I’m at 43, or lower (I don’t personally always feel my lows, and I feel that it’s saved my life before.. game changer, right!?). It’s the same if you prick your finger and see it’s 127. That’s a good reading, but what if you saw it was 127, with two “double up” arrows?! This tells me, I need to take insulin, or make sure I have enough “on board” to avoid going too high.. (and feeling like I was hit by a train).

Dexcom doesn’t replace finger sticks, but you do only have to calibrate twice a day, and that’s A LOT LESS than all the finger sticks in one day (especially if it’s a roller-coaster high and low type of day).

In 9 years, I was never able to know what my blood sugar was doing at any given moment through out the day.. I never knew if it was going up or down when I tested. Even with the pump changing my life back in 2014, dexcom and the pump working together made it WAY tighter control for me, that I would have never accomplished myself without it. I got my best A1C EVER with dexcom, and I can’t imagine life without it now. In a weird way, it’s like this game on my phone that I want to “beat” so to speak. I can see what my numbers are doing (going up or down) and take a little insulin, or suspend a little insulin here and there depending on what it’s doing. It also allows up to 5 followers on phones. My Dad follows me and is always quick to call or text and make sure I’m alright when he gets a “low” notification (since these can be life threatening if not treated). You can personalize the settings and they really only get alerted if I’m going too low (at my age, I can tackle the highs on my own, but don’t always feel the lows coming).

It’s been an amazing experience for me, and I’ll never not have a CGM again. My A1C went from a 12.2 to a 9 in 1 month, and in 3 months was down to a 6.6. Life changing enough!?!

They’re technically only FDA approved for 7 days as of now (the new ones will be 10 days, and only 1 calibration a day) but I’ve gotten 30 days with my best sensor, and have heard of others in dexcom groups I follow getting even more than that (they are a dry site, unlike a pump, so there’s not so much risk for infection if you wear it a while). I use a certain kind of tape with mine to help keep it on longer and it works great for me!

I’ll wrap this up, and remind you guys to please comment with any questions, or email me via the contact section on my menu. I hope this did answer some questions you had, and I’m happy to answer more! I really and truly appreciate and welcome all and any feedback, and have to thank you guys again for reading, and for all the love and support!

Lastly, I ask you to PLEASE sign this petition to help make insulin more affordable to EVERYONE. No mother should have to sacrifice her insulin to make sure her kid has enough, and no kid or adult should have to go without for ANY reason. Insulin is NOT an option, it is our life support.. literally. This is a petition with the American Diabetes Association, and here is what they have to say about it :

“The average price of insulin has skyrocketed in recent years—nearly tripling between 2002 and 2013. We’re calling for immediate action to make this lifesaving medication affordable for everyone who needs it. We’re asking all entities in the insulin supply chain to increase transparency and to ensure that no one is denied access to insulin, and we’re calling on Congress to hold hearings to identify the reasons for the dramatic increases in insulin prices and take action. Join us by signing our petition”:

Click here to sign the petition! It takes 45 seconds!

-Chelsea…The Hopeful Diabetic

P.S — You may have noticed… New Domain/Name, but same me, same blog! 🙂 I should have researched more before just up and creating and starting my website, but I changed my domain to be more original. Bare with me guys, I’m just getting the hang of things!

“Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

Hello, and happy Saturday! I’m going to dive right in.. I always actually liked this quote, but could never truly relate to it.. until now. (Incase you haven’t caught on yet.. I really like quotes. So expect to see one at the beginning or end of.. well, likely everything I post.) Bare with me, I’ll get back to this.

After being diagnosed at age 15, I felt pretty lost for a while, along with many, many other emotions. I was angry, I was sad.. I felt like my body had completely failed me. I was confused, I didn’t understand. I mean.. One day I’m a typical sophomore in high school, drinking Vanilla sprite from Sonic nearly everyday, and the next I’m told I can only have sugar free drinks (by the way this isn’t actually true for type 1’s, I can technically have a sugar drink if I WANT .. it would just be a LOT of insulin and I chose not to- but don’t you dare tell a type 1 they cannot have sugar) , and will need to take a shot every time I eat for the rest of my life (um, WHAT!?). My whole world turned upside down in a matter of days.. I don’t think being depressed at the time was totally unusual (scratch that, I KNOW it wasn’t).. and truth be told I still have days I struggle to overcome that feeling.

I believe they called it “situational depression” .. when I heard that, I’m willing to bet I rolled my eyes, and my response was something like “well who wouldn’t be depressed if they JUST found out they will have this disease and be stabbing themselves with needles for the rest of their life?” (Am I right, Mom & Dad?) “It’s normal” said all the doctors.. feeling sad or depressed is 100% NORMAL. And I stand by that today..whether you were just diagnosed, or you’ve been living with this for 20+ years. Yet.. I was still so embarrassed by it at the time, and I didn’t/wouldn’t talk about it. Instead I stored that pain and that hurt, and that feeling of embarrassment in the back of my mind, and tried to deal with it all by myself. If you read my previous post, you know that didn’t end well for me.. I fought with my parents, I didn’t take care of myself, and there’s a lot of stuff I wish I would have done differently… and here is why I’m writing today!

There is nothing wrong with seeking help, and being vulnerable and honest with somebody who can truly give you their best advice. For some reason, I just wouldn’t do it. I wish I would have, I imagine I wouldn’t have gone though a lot of the things I did if I would’ve had someone to share my “deepest and darkest” thoughts and secrets with someone medically trained to give me the best advice they can. I was just too scared. But of what? Probably of what they would tell me.. That I couldn’t keep living that way, that it was unhealthy, that I would lose limbs or go blind.. they would tell me everything I’d already heard from doctors, parents, and friends (by the way, if you’re not diabetic.. I beg you not to tell your diabetic friend about your moms friend or your whoever who WAS diabetic .. we hear enough dark stories, I promise, please don’t add to the list.. we know the consequences). I was scared to talk to someone- because I knew I wasn’t trying my hardest on my end (actually, I was hardly trying at all). I was scared of having to actually admit to that, and take action, and take responsibility and get my life back in order. So I didn’t. Please note, this is not me persuading you to go see a professional. I do however encourage you to just think about it IF you or your kid/friend/ whoever you know with diabetes is having a hard time accepting this disease on a day to day basis. I really could have used someone to open up to those teen years, and my parents really really tried, I just wasn’t interested, and like I said.. ultimately was just terrified because I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself and I wasn’t ready to admit that yet.

At 24, I’ve finally accepted that my diabetes is a part of me- and probably both my favorite and least favorite part of me at that. I wouldn’t be who I am today without everything being type 1 has put me through. I might have a working pancreas.. but I wouldn’t have the strength, perseverance, and “it’ll pass” mindset that I’m so thankful for today. I’m not perfect, (actually, I’m FAR FAR FAR from perfect) but I like the person I’ve grown to become today. It’s been quite a journey to get here.

When I wrote my first post, a little over a week ago.. I had no idea how good it would feel (while at the same time absolutely terrifying) to share my story and be honest and vulnerable about everything.. and there’s still so much more I can elaborate on. I wanted to thank all of you, for the nice comments whether on the blog, via Facebook, or e-mail… I am truly humbled and overwhelmed with the positive feedback and encouragement.. and it’s so nice to talk with other diabetics like YOU. Two days after my first blog post, I did the step out walk to stop diabetes. It was heart wrenching to see how many people, but especially kids were wearing red hats (if you were a diabetic participating in the walk- you got a “red strider” hat). This disease has got to end, guys. Not for my sake, but for all those kids, for the struggling teenagers, for the adults who’ve just had enough, and for the poor babies not even born yet, it’s got to stop. I encourage you to look into volunteering for your local JDRF (go to the website and sign up and they’ll send you an email within a couple days) or ANY charity for T1D. I cannot tell you how good it feels to give back, step up, and just tell your story and talk with others going through the same thing. I’ve actually had this conversation recently with a fellow type 1 diabetic that I had the pleasure to “meet” via a diabetes (Dexcom and Omnipod users) Facebook group we were both in! Actually, he and his wife and friends who also deal with type 1 in their life, have started a Facebook page to support families battling type 1 AND they’re doing fun events and activities to raise funds for T1D. How cool!? They’re in Charlotte, NC if you happen to be in that area! Either way, you should go check out and support their Facebook page “Families Fighting Type 1” (FFT1) . I hear they will have a website soon as well, so stay tuned!

If you want to simply interact with other type 1 diabetics, of any age, you should (if you haven’t already) check out tudiabetes.com .. they have so many forums, blogs, chatrooms, anything and everything a person with any type of diabetes, can benefit from. When I first heard of it back in 2013, I went in the chat room almost daily and it was nice to be able to login at any given time and have people right there knowing what you’re going through. Also, another great charity, aside from JDRF that has recently caught my attention is “Beyond Type 1”. They’re newer to the game, but go check out their website and their new app! There’s even a place to sign up for “snail mail” with another diabetic somewhere in the world (you can choose your preference on male/female, and if you’d like them to be younger, same age, or older). You enter a few things about yourself (or your child) and they’ll match you with someone, and in a matter of weeks you’ll have a starter kit in your mailbox! Pretty neat, I’d say. They encourage to donate and pay for your kit, but you CAN get it at no cost. I would have LOVED this when I was 15! I just want to add, these are all my honest opinions and I’m in no way being paid or sponsored, I’m simply just talking these places up because they truly are great. So check them out! My biggest regret is not getting involved in the diabetes community sooner.

I got a little off track there, but diabetes is hard, we get no breaks, EVER!.. and sometimes, we just need to be reminded that we’re not alone.

Now back to my original quote.. way up there at the top (sorry, can you tell I really like to write!?). As I stated up in the first real paragraph.. my diagnosis had me feeling lost.. and if we’re being honest, I don’t even know that I knew “who I was” a year ago. Ever since I got Dexcom CGM back in April it’s been truly life changing, getting to know myself again (without a foggy mind and no high blood sugars messing with my moods). I’ve been trying this whole time to “find myself again”.. well, last week after my first post, I was reassured.. Life really isn’t about finding yourself…It IS about creating yourself. It’s about becoming WHOEVER and WHATEVER you want to be. As for me, that’s this. Writing, sharing my stories, advocating for diabetes. THIS is what I want. Whether I have 2 readers, or 2,000.. I will keep writing. I will keep sharing my stories, and I will keep advocating. And I will continue to enjoy doing so. (If you’d like to be e-mailed when I post again, be sure and click “follow”- and thank you in advance!)

Stay strong my fellow diabuddies, and hugs to all you parents with “type 1 default diabetes”, as I like to call it- you know their struggle, and you fight that fight every day with them, in a way, you have it (by default) even though your pancreas may be fine.

Okay, I have to add one last thing… I have had music playing on a shuffle in the background, and as I’m wrapping this blog post up I hear “even the best fall down sometimes” .. Take that for what you will. Just remember that it’s okay to “fall down” as long as you get back up and keep fighting the good fight!

-Chelsea, The hopeful diabetic ❤

PS- I have a lot of things I know I want to write about. But I’d also love to know if there’s anything you’d like to know about or read. Anything! (Whether it’s how I personally control my sugars, things I wish I knew then, my favorite carb free snacks.. or if you’re a parent with a T1 kid, maybe anything you’d like to know from my parents, etc.. you get the point) Comment, or email me privately through the contact section because I’d love to hear feedback. And if you made it this far….. breathe, it’s over. Thank you for hanging in there, and thank you so much for reading! 🙂

My “story”

My dad told me at a very young age “it’s not what happens to you, but how you choose to respond to it”. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was telling me a quote that would mean so much to me in my future without even realizing it. This quote is now something I live by every single day.

For starters, I guess I should introduce myself! My name is Chelsea and I’m 24 years old, and I’ve been living with type 1 diabetes for 9 years. I’m not quite the “average” 24 year old (I’ll get to that soon), but don’t get me wrong… my life is nothing short of wonderful, and I’m beyond blessed to have the people in my life that I do. I just want to start putting my stories, and my “oops” moments, my happy moments, scary moments, and overcoming the battle of accepting that I had diabetes in the first pace, etc.. to paper, (or “keyboard”, I should say) about living life as a type one diabetic. And I’ll try my best to keep it entertaining. Some of the stories will be pretty funny, I promise. But if my blog and stories shared, lessons learned, etc.. can reach, or help, even just one person also battling type 1, my heart would be overflowed with happiness. So… here goes nothing.

This is my first blog, ever (so go easy on me, okay?) haha. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and instead of telling myself “I’ll do it eventually”, I decided to make this website a few days ago. But, as luck would have it, I’ve been a little sick this week and not feeling my best. Well, anyway… I’m in a group called “dexcom” on Facebook. Dexcom is a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) that I wear (usually on my lower back) that pulls up my blood sugars to my phone every 5 minutes. I got this back in April this year and don’t know how I EVER went without it, it was a SERIOUS game changer for me. It alarms my phone anytime I’m going too low or too high. Did I mention it also alerts my dad and mom too? (That’s their choice, I don’t make them follow me, haha!) I once was going low at the beginning of a brunch with both of them… and all three of our phones were alarming. Diabetes has its funny moments, that’s for sure, and that’s why I wanted to start this blog. To write about the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m already getting off track though.. back to the dexcom group on Facebook! A concerned type 1 mom of a teenager had posted asking for help and was concerned of her daughter not taking care of herself.. well, that was me at 15 when I was diagnosed, so of course it hit home for me to read. So, I replied, with a very short version of my story. I got thanked for sharing it, and that same woman, and another mom who has diabetes, as well as her 11 year old son shared my response on their pages on Facebook. I was touched, and it encouraged me to write this not tomorrow, but TONIGHT. I made the site a few days ago.. what have I been waiting for? Oh yeah, I wasn’t feeling great.. but ANYWAY, I’m here now.

Remember way up there when I said I’m not your “average” 24 year old? That takes me back to October 11^th, 2007. I was playing a district tennis match, and my mom tells me I looked like a “drunk tennis player” swinging at the balls too soon, and eventually I fell and collapsed. I remember the 2 weeks prior, I had lost about 12 pounds, was drinking SO much Gatorade and water through the day, and having to pee every 30 minutes. Along with falling asleep in school (which was so unlike me) and blurry vision. I knew something was wrong, but I was 15, and I was scared. Next thing I knew, I was leaving my doctors office, being told to go straight to the hospital, where I then found out my blood sugar was 595. I had no idea what this meant, no one in my family (as far as we can go back) had ever had diabetes. And….. Happy diagnosis day to me!

The first few months were really hard, but my parents were so wonderful and learning as much as they could to help me, and understand to their best ability. I was so rebellious though. I was so unaccepting of my diabetes that I mistakenly took my anger towards it out on my parents (my biggest regret to date). Time passed, a few more months went by, I turned 16.. yadda yadda. After a bad a1c (average 3 month of blood sugars) at a doctor’s appointment, my dad wanted to see my meter once a week (that’s not too much to ask for, I was just a brat). I had basically stopped checking my blood sugars and giving most of my shots, and I was scared and embarrassed, so instead of seeking help and being honest, I fought with him, threw my meter to intentionally break it.. I was awful. (To this day, my parents are hands down two of my very best friends, as well of two of the best dang parents someone could ask for- if y’all are reading this THANK YOU for never giving up on me when I almost gave up on myself)

I turned 17 in April of 2009, right before mother’s day.. I got admitted to the hospital with DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis). I was in trauma… and next thing I knew I woke up in ICU with an IV in my groin, oxygen mask, etc… not knowing what had happened. The doctors told my parents that I should have been dead, and they weren’t sure how I got there in time. That should be enough to scare the life back into you, right? Wrong… I got out, got better, and went through DKA again at 20. This should have been the final straw… but it wasn’t. Luckily, I didn’t go through DKA again, but I got very close. It wasn’t until the day before my 22^nd birthday that I decided I wanted to change, and I wanted to feel better, so I decided to switch to the omnipod pump. Life started getting better, I had the best A1C I had had since my diagnosis (only an 8.5 which isn’t even GOOD, but it was better than my past 12s, and higher)

I’m about to be really honest with you, about WHY I went through DKA… age 15-22, I had “diabulimia” now some of my closest friends don’t even know this, some of my family doesn’t either. But I’m done hiding from it, it’s made me who I am today. I overcame that. Diabulimia is classified as an eating disorder, even though I never stopped eating. I wasn’t taking my insulin, because I didn’t want to gain weight from it. I knew that I could eat what I wanted, and overnight have a smaller stomach again. When type 1 diabetics don’t take insulin, their bodies just burn the fat (not in a good way). It wasn’t until I was 21 that I even realized this was an eating disorder, and that there was a name for it. Or even that I was actually doing it “on purpose” yet subconsciously. It’s hard to explain, but I really didn’t think I had a problem. Even though my blood sugars that sat in the 400s and 500s constantly said otherwise (DON’T BE LIKE ME, I’M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE).

Flash-forward to October of 2014, I had been on the pump for 6 months, and I was feeling great! Until all of a sudden, I didn’t. Did I cause diabetes complications on myself from lack of caring for it properly? No way.. I’m too young, right?! I began waking up atleast once a week, vomiting so badly I started throwing up blood. I had to go to the ER for an IV and fluids, nausea meds, everything. This was literally a weekly thing for about 4 months (my dad has the exact number of times I was in the hospital within 6 months and its unreal). I had to call my dad at 4 am to come and pick me up from my apartment and take me to the hospital (I’M SO SORRY, DAD!!) I knew the staff, and they knew me.. It was my second home, but not exactly the second home I had dreamed of. Lovely people though, and I’m thankful for all those doctors and nurses that put up with me!

Finally, months later.. I get a proper diagnosis: gastroparesis, often common in diabetics (after being misdiagnosed with crohns disease, celiac and testing for a million other things)! This means my stomach can’t properly break down food (especially stuff like salad, broccoli, anything high in fiber or in fat), so I never digest it.. and throw it up. Long story short, I got down to 98 pounds from about 117. I had no muscle or tone anywhere, and it literally hurt just to sit down. It hurt to get out of bed, and it hurt basically to do anything… so I didn’t. I lost friends because I could barely get out, and I was really depressed for a while. Time went by though, the medicine I started taking from Canada (legally!) really helped my nausea and I was able to get a little better. Then, in January of THIS year.. I got the gastric pacemaker put in my stomach to help break food down. (It did get better, but can “flare up” again.. and last time they threatened me with a feeding tube at the hospital so surgery was my first choice!) I’m one of only 1,500 people in the entire world to have that implanted in my stomach. Kind of cool.. between that, my insulin pump, and my cgm, I wear three devices (one internal, two external). Feel free to call me a robot, because I say it all the time. 🙂

Flash forward to now, November 3, 2016… and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been (but of course I still have my highs and lows- no pun intended). Because of Omnipod, Dexcom, and Interra Pacemaker.. I finally feel like myself again. My last A1C at the doctor was 6.6. Diabetes is a crazy ride, and this is just a PEEK into my story… but I would NOT be who I am today without type 1. It doesn’t define me, but it does live within me, and I’m so much stronger because of this disease.

This month is diabetes awareness month! What a perfect month to start this blog! I’ll be walking in the ADA Step out: Walk for a Cure this Saturday, with 2 friends and my boyfriend for the 2^nd year in a row. I can’t wait!

I’m sorry this was so long, and my posts probably won’t be this scattered and lengthy in the future. I’m a little nervous, and wasn’t sure what my first one should be about, so I just wanted to introduce myself, tell you a little about what I’ve been through, so as I start writing more (if you choose to follow), you have an idea of who I am. And if any of my friends (old or new) actually read this, you may have just learned a whole lot about me you didn’t know.

Thanks for reading!

-Chelsea, The hopeful diabetic ❤

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